Dear Lover.
Written for Milk & Honey's February Community Prompt
Trigger Warnings: This story contains animal abuse, implied sexual assault, and graphic descriptions of violence and or gore. If you are not in the head space to read about these themes, please choose a different story of mine, though most are dark.
This “letter” is my contribution to Milk & Honey’s February community event. If you would like to participate in this month’s prompt head to our February 2026 State of the Blog.
Dear lover
Did you get to see the stars tonight? Have you seen how clearly sentient and vibrant they are? They bleed white into the night sky like you bled into the sand for me when I asked. They pulsate and throb like the thick vein in your neck when I wrapped my fingers around your throat. The way you choked and gasped placated my hunger and desire. I look at the stars now and can’t believe that they are the same ones that you are looking up at. I gasp and choke at the thought of you being alone but I had no other choice. I know the desert may be cold. I know animals might be licking your skin raw. I know they might be pulling you apart. They are consuming you. Gone. Insects are already inside of you. Your eyes are probably cloudy and shriveled like grapes that turn into raisins under the sun and the sun was very hot today. Your skin has probably tightened and shrunk around your skeleton. Your body has been emptied. Your body is sinking and disappearing into the earth. But you are still as beautiful as ever. I thought maybe I could return to you. I could bring you back to somewhere safe where they’d never find you. Where we could be together again. Sadly it is too late.
How do I write this? How do I put into words what my devotion has caused? You told me you wanted it. You made me want you. You begged for it. You didn’t have to say it but I saw it in your eyes. I saw it in your pictures online. I saw it in the way you walked home. The way that you changed your routes. I saw it in the way you talked to others. I saw the same yearn that I had for you. Have for you. The stars. The stars are the same and they beg me to go back to where you are. It would be useless. Your body would already be gone. The sun was so hot that it must have already begun rotting.
I saw who you were past the books your nose lived in. You consumed literature like I wanted to consume you. Did you see yourself in the characters? Did you imagine yourself as a warrior? A princess? Did you fight in wars for those who couldn’t fight for themselves? Did you climb mountains? Did you dream of not being here? Not being in this word? Did I save you from what you were hiding from? Why did you do this to me?
Do you remember the day we met? It was another hot day like it always is. You were reading on a park bench. You were reading Wuthering Heights. I couldn’t imagine why someone like you would like something so horrid and violent. I was walking my dog. He’s no longer with us but you know that because you were the one who found him. Did you know that I was the one who left him? Did you remember that it was the dog you met in the park that day? I strung him up in the lower landing outside of your front door. I know it scared you because you called the police and I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t nice. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to get your attention. The day at the park opened my eyes. I finally saw what everyone was searching for. That feeling shown in the movies. That feeling that everything is going to be okay as long as we were together. Your hair perfectly fell around your jaw and trailed over your collarbones. Your chin pointed down as you flipped each pager faster than I had ever seen anyone ever read before. I used Rudy to my advantage. That was his name, remember? The beagle in the park? I walked by and asked what you were reading but I had already knew. I was watching for a while before I got the courage to speak to you. You pet Rudy. You smiled. You smiled so widely. You were so happy to see me. I knew that we were meant to be but when I asked for your number you said no.
You. Said. No.
That was the beginning of the end for you but I think you know that now. I took it out on Rudy and that was wrong. Then I watched you. I’ll admit that might have been wrong too, it might have been unhealthy for us but it was the only way to get to you. It was the only way to get closer. I told you, you did this to you. You did this to me. I tried to stay away from you. I really did. But you called to me. You created this ache that lived in the middle of my chest. My body hurt when I couldn’t be around you. It itched. It stung. It bled to be near you. Then you bled for me.
When we finally were together again. After weeks of watching… waiting. I couldn’t be patient anymore. I was consumed by love. I was consumed by you. I need you. I needed us to be whole together. I needed to have you. I needed my hands around your neck. I need your blood to spill out around you and onto me. Yes.. maybe consumed by anger that was a product of passion but really it was love. All I am left with now is the memory of your chokes. The gurgling sounds you made as the blood bubbled up from your throat. You cried. Your eyes bulged. I saw fear in them. I also saw love.
So now I look at the stars. The same stars that you looked up at as the light left your eyes. I left before you faded completely. I hope you saw the stars before you were gone. I couldn't stand what I had done. You gave in though. You submitted your body to my destruction. I think I can forgive myself if I knew that you forgave me. I think you would forgive me if I could just make you understand.
I took a ring that lived on your pinky. It was so small I think it belonged to you as a child but as you got older the only finger it fit must have been your pinky. It had a date carved into it. After some digging, I say digging like it was hard. I just looked at your mom’s profile and I saw that it was her birthday. Maybe it was her childhood ring that she gave you as a keepsake. I also learned that she died many years ago. You were only a young child. The ring had meaning to you. You would have wanted the love of your life to have it. I know you would have wanted me to have it. I will take good care of it. It makes me feel closer to you than ever.
This letter to you. This letter I write. You will never read it.
I miss you.
I will keep looking for you. In other girls who have their noses buried in books. I will find you again even if it is just your soul behind another’s eyes.
I will keep looking at the stars.
Sincerely,
your devoted
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This was an immersive spiral. Hooked by every word.